SATURDAY, AUGUST 7th, 2020
 nothing will ever amount to the hurt and betrayal that i felt the moment i realised people can open their eyes underwater. i turned the tv off, sat on the floor, gripped my knees and sobbed my fucking eyes out. i think that was the first time in my life where i felt truly left out, alone and utterly fucking cheated. why not me? i want to see fish and i want to see the tips of my hair floating around underwater and i want to see my own pretty hands and i want to see the world, but i can't and nothing's ever been so wrong with my life.